I can distinctly remember the time, probably about ten years ago, that I became aware of the inherent value of each human being. I had always been a fairly “nice” person and not openly condescending toward anyone, although I know I often critiqued people in my own mind.
Suddenly I realized that everyone had worth, equal worth, and being unaware of that worth often made people do “bad”, unloving, or overly accommodating things to compensate for lack of self worth. I understood this because I had always felt that any value I had was on the lower end of the scale.
I knew the emotions that came, unbidden, with the thoughts of not measuring up, of lacking something, and I knew that for some people those thoughts and emotions were so raw, so strong, so overwhelming, that they led to impulsive, crazy, even dangerous actions.
Thankfully, I still had a little seed inside to remind me that I had something to offer, that there was genius in there waiting to be nurtured so it could grow and develop and make its way out to this messy world bringing its own brand of healing.
This revelation I had about the value of each life did nurture the seed inside me, but it did more than that. It started the journey of seeing people with new eyes; the eyes of non-judgment.
When I told people about this, no one became too excited; in part, I suppose because it wasn’t their revelation, but I think there was more to it than that. I think in some people’s minds, thinking this way would lead me down the slippery slope of accepting everyone and letting them “off the hook”.
In reality, it has led me to be more honest with myself and with other people. It has made me much more likely to confront someone if necessary, but much less likely to judge them.
When I am more comfortable with who God made me to be, when I feel like I am “enough” and I don’t need to prove anything, I can be more real and truthful, and hopefully I can help bring that out in others. I can take full responsibility for my life and actions and model the kind of life that, because of self-acceptance and love, wants to be of service to this world with the gifts I have been given.
Now when I look back at the way I was constantly judging everything and everyone in my mind, I feel like I am a different person. I feel so free not carrying that burden of judgment. I know I can develop much more in this area and, just having had a taste of what unconditional love is like, that is definitely my desire.